Do you know cool sounding Polish sayings

Enjoy. I hope these may brighten up someone's day!

  • It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

  • "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." —Mark Twain

  • The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

  • "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." —George W. Bush

  • Always remember: you're unique, just like everyone else.

  • The road to success is always under construction.

  • Where there is a "will," there are 500 relatives.

  • Wear short sleeves. Support your right to bare arms!

  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

  • Join The Army. Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

  • I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

  • Death is hereditary.

  • When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

  • Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

  • If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

  • Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

  • I stopped fighting my inner demons, we're on the same side now.

  • Well-behaved women rarely make history.

  • I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

  • He who laughs last, didn't get it.

  • We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police.

  • I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

  • Cheese . . . milk's leap toward immortality.

  • You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax. Tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

  • He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.

  • Half of the people in the world are below average.

  • I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

  • It is not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!

  • Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "Y" becomes silent.

  • Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

  • USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

  • Constipated people don't give a crap.

  • Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?

  • My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

  • Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

  • A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.

  • Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

  • Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

  • Ham and eggs—a day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig.

  • I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

  • When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

  • If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet?

  • I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

  • If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

  • You couldn't get a clue during the clue-mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.

  • It is a damned poor mind indeed that can't think of at least two ways of spelling any word.

  • In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.

  • Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

  • Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.

  • I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

  • Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, age don't matter.

  • Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

  • Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

  • The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

  • Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

  • I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

  • I get enough exercise pushing my luck.

  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

  • I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

  • We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

  • The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

  • You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

  • I got a gun for my wife—best trade I’ve ever made.

  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

  • To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

  • Beauty is a light switch away . . .

  • The evening news is where they start by saying “good evening,” and proceed by telling you why it’s not.

  • There are three kinds of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't.

  • When life hands you lemons, make lemonade, find the person that life handed vodka to, and have a party.

  • if Barbie is so popular then why do we buy her friends and boyfriends?

  • God created the world, everything else is made in China.

  • Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.

  • Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

  • Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.

  • Those who throw dirt only lose ground.

  • You never truly understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

  • Error. No keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

  • Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.

  • hey occifer i swear to drunk im not as god as you think i am.

  • This sentence is a lie.

  • Men are like parking stalls. All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped!

  • Change is good, but dollars are better.

  • How is it that “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

  • 1492: Native Americans discover Columbus lost at sea.

  • Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs harder.

  • Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.

  • Solution to two of the world’s problem: feed the homeless to the hungry.

  • You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because I just farted!

  • Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door!

  • Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver.

  • When life gives you melons . . . you might be dyslexic.

  • There’s no 'I' in team, but there is in 'win.'

  • Those who criticize our generation seem to forget who raised it!

  • Man who goes to bed with an itchy butt . . . wakes up with a stinky finger!

  • Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!

  • The only good thing about going bra-less at my age is that it pulls the wrinkles right out of my face.

  • How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree . . . and then realize it was your air-freshener.